Meeting new people is like unwrapping a present… you always open the gift with anticipation and expectation and you are rarely disappointed. Because everybody has good things about them. Some people, though, are novelty gifts… your pleasure in them is temporary and it wanes. Other people are those gifts that you kind of think, ‘Erm. Yep. Thanks,’ about, but in the end they’re still there being jolly useful, long after the fun of somebody new has worn down.

Some people are gifts who keep giving, people with many layers.

I don’t understand why we are so fascinated with the inner spirit of people. This idea that we need to unmask the insides of people, to see them undone, to see the real them. The face they present is just as real; but we are never satisfied. Somehow, we feel we cannot connect until they are in pain, and show this pain to us. Ah, we say, now I know the real you. And then we are at liberty to be ourselves with them.

Our experience of pain defines who we are in many senses, and in reliving these pains, are we exposing the real core of who we are? I don’t know. All I know is, I resent having to break myself open for people, but I want them to do the same for me. Preferably without me having to do it first, of course.

This week I have opened a beautiful new present, Hui-Min, who has dedicated a blog to me, YAY, so I am certainly going to return the favour. At this point, all is celebration and scattered ribbon, but I think I am going to like Hui-Min in the long term. I’ve made my mind up to, and that always helps, I find.

In aid of this, Hui-Min, here is all that you need to know:

I sleep with the light on. I sleep without a top sheet, just the blankets. I don’t like going to sleep, I fight it as long as possible. It’s like sinking down through deep water without control. I don’t like waking up. It’s like swimming up through the weight of the deep water.
So that is a whole picture of me, I think. I fear the dark; I like to know what’s coming. I can’t stand being tucked in too close; I like to be able to get away. I fight getting in too deep… I can’t let go once I am.

You can tell my mood from this, I think. But that’s okay. Sometimes it’s alright for me to be less than perky, otherwise I would be so much more tired all the time.